Pleasure is Poisonous yet Addictive

I looked at my dear friend pain, I hate him and despise him.

Rather of being with pain with no results, I went to pleasure who took my sorrows away.

Haha 😆

I want to die, I wanna sleep and leave this world.

To whomever put me here on earth, I cursed you with all my heart.

Definitely not my mother, that woman is innocent.

I looked at the dark sky; I cursed the humans beneath it, spit on the beings in the universe, I despise the angels and demons and I cursed the gods and my heavenly father.

I cursed you, now, strike me with death.

I want none of your wonderful paradise, or eternal life, or anything.

I...l...I...I just wanna rest

I'm sinking in the sea of despair

Everyday feels suffocating

I have worked hard all my life yet gained nothing.

Everything's meaningless

Argh!

I guess life's a gift to some but to me it's nothing but a curse.

Life's toying with me and I became the comedian to the gods.

A pathetic clown dancing in tune as a puppet.

Isn't my life pathetic enough?

I wanna become a god,

A beast wanna be a god?

A slave wanna be a god?

A clown wanna be a god?

Haha haha

Haha haha

Haha haha 😆

I must be foolish to dream, dream is for the fortunate.

Let me drink pleasure probably I'll die with it and never see tomorrow again.

Pleasure is poisonous, it's killing me slowly, killing my dreams, killing my drive, killing my hope.

Do I have no choice but to seek pain?

Do I have no choice but to keep living like a beast?

If being a beast will allow me to be a god, I'll live like a beast till I become a god.

If I die as a beast, I'll die like a god.

No matter the results, death or life, I'm winning.