When you find yourself overly worried about something, ask yourself 2 questions;<ol><li>What am I worrying about?</li><li>What can be done about it</li></ol>

Resolving Your Overthinking

<ul><li>By identifying exactly what you are worried about, it makes it easier to resolve the problem.</li><li>A very common problem amongst most people is that all they worry about is something they are worried about.</li></ul>

What Am I Worrying About? 

My life has been full of terrible misfortunes, most of which never happened.

Can any thing be done about it?<ul><li>If something can be done about the cause of your worry, think deeply and formulate a plan of attack.</li><li>If nothing can be done about it, why worry??</li></ul>

What Can Be Done About It? 

Overthinking can be plainly stressful. Tiny steps that can be taken to reduce overthinking and worrying. 

Have you ever stumbled upon a piece of life-changing knowledge that made you think: why the hell didn't someone tell me this sooner?! Millions of people have listened to Adam and Adam on the What You Will Learn podcast, where they have spent tens of thousands of hours studying the best ideas from the greatest minds on the planet. Their most frequently asked question: what is the best lesson you've come across? While you'd think a simple question would have a simple answer, it didn't - until now! The Sh*t They Never Taught You will take you on a journey through takeaways from over a hundred of the world's greatest thinkers capturing lessons in personal development, career, business, personal finances, human nature, history, and philosophy. Every lesson will be useful, and one might change your life.

Understand yourself and those around you.

psychology

Psychology

mentalhealth

Mental Health

books

Books

Have you ever stumbled upon a piece of life-changing knowledge that made you think: why the hell didn't someone tell me this sooner?! Millions of people have listened to Adam and Adam on the What You Will Learn podcast, where they have spent tens of thousands of hours studying the best ideas from the greatest minds on the planet. Their most frequently asked question: what is the best lesson you've come across? While you'd think a simple question would have a simple answer, it didn't - until now! The Shit They Never Taught You will take you on a journey through takeaways from over a hundred of the world's greatest thinkers capturing lessons in personal development, career, business, personal finances, human nature, history, and philosophy. Every lesson will be useful, and one might change your life.

Adam Ashton is an accomplished writer whose work has resonated with readers around the world. Adam Ashton has published several books that explore a range of topics, from fiction to nonfiction, and has received critical acclaim for the ability to weave compelling narratives. Adam Ashton's writing style is known for its depth and authenticity, and has earned quite a loyal following of readers.

Adam Ashton

Adam Jones is an accomplished writer whose work has resonated with readers around the world. Adam Jones has published several books that explore a range of topics, from fiction to nonfiction, and has received critical acclaim for the ability to weave compelling narratives. Adam Jones's writing style is known for its depth and authenticity, and has earned quite a loyal following of readers.

Adam Jones

The Sh*t They Never Taught You

The Sh*t They Never Taught You: What You Can Learn From Books

Managing other people’s bad moods and difficult emotions well is an ability that can be practiced and strengthened.While it’s not possible to fix another person’s emotional struggles, there are a handful of practical skills you can learn to help you be more genuinely supportive and helpful in the face of other people’s bad moods.

You Need to be Good at Managing Bad Moods and Difficult Emotions

Giving advice to someone who’s emotionally overwhelmed is unhelpful at best, and usually counterproductive.Thinking of someone's emotions as a puzzle puts us in a mindset of curiosity. And when we’re curious about another person’s emotion, it’s far easier to be validating, understanding, and empathetic, which is what most people experiencing strong emotion really want.

Treat Strong Emotion as a Puzzle, Not a Problem

Instead of putting yourself in someone else’s shoes, reverse empathy means trying to remember a time when you wore the same shoes.The more you can relate yourself to what they’re going through, the better your odds of being genuinely helpful and supportive to the person next to you, not to mention being less reactive and emotional yourself.

Try Some Reverse Empathy

The reality is that people struggling emotionally don’t want someone to fix their pain, they want to feel understood.In order to let people feel understood, you could use a technique called reflective listening. Reflective listening means that when someone tells you something, you simply reflect back to them what they said, either literally or with your own slight spin on it.

Be a Mirror, Not a Mechanic

Once we’re deep into a spiral of our own difficult emotion, it’s hard to have enough mental and emotional bandwidth to navigate both our own mood and that of someone else.The solution is to get better at noticing and managing our own emotional responses early so that they don’t balloon out of control. And the best way I know of to do that is through a process called emotional validation.Emotional validation simply means acknowledging our own emotions and reminding ourselves that they’re okay and reasonable even if uncomfortable.

Validate Your Own Emotions

So much unnecessary struggle, conflict and wasted energy comes from a fundamental misunderstanding about what’s really under our control.When you stop expecting to be able to make someone feel better, you can start taking real steps to connect with them in a heartfelt way and be genuinely supportive.

Clarify Your Responsibility

Having the ability to properly handle other people's bad mood is a skill that anyone should possess. However, it is not so easy to become skilled at this, for a wide variety of complicated reasons. In this article the author goes through some tips on how to handle other people's moods like a pro.

It's really hard to be around people who are in a bad mood. Here are 5 practical skills to deal more effectively with other people's bad moods.

personaldevelopment

Personal Development

communication

Communication

How to Handle Other People’s Bad Moods Like a Pro

What does it take to be a stoic?Should you be taking every rule in the book and devotedly applying it?Here in this stash, we will discuss a bit of why we should want to be Stoic.

STOICISM - being stoic 

There are hundreds/thousands/millions of ways to keep yourself happy. But being happy on your own and within your own, now that’s the power that we must withhold. It is the power brought to you by the stoics.

HAPPINESS SHOULD NEVER BE OUTSOURCED. 

There will be times in this life when we want to present ourselves in a certain way; when we want to share and boast about our achievements and awards in life. But if and when we toss them away, we will achieve ultimate freedom. Freedom in life, freedom from anyone’s opinions, and freedom from external factors.

TOSS AWAY EGO and VANITY. 

Be as firm as you can. The Stoics don’t tippy-toe around certain areas of life, they stand their ground especially when it comes to morals.

STAND YOUR GROUND.

<ul><li>We do this because it is easier. It is easier when our beliefs can be bent for the sake of our benefit.</li><li>We do this because it is convenient for us and for us to have changeable beliefs and principles.</li><li>We do this so that it can directly benefit us. We do this so nothing in our way will be a hurdle/hindrance.</li></ul>

We forego our principles in the name of tolerance or for profit.

<ul><li>We are only able to be wise when we set and put up the intentions of being wise.</li><li>The first step to wisdom is wonder, insight, and the full acceptance that we are ignorant.</li><li>Intellectuals say that “The fools think that they know it all, but the wise know and admit he knows nothing.”</li></ul>

"No man was ever wise by chance." -Seneca

“The universe is change; Life is an opinion.”

philosophy

Philosophy

How to be Stoic?

Our dreams in life set up the life we are about to take. It sets up our ability and capabilities to do something. It gives us a sense of what we are willing to do and what we are willing to sacrifice.

It's not what the vision is, it's what it does to the visionary.

Sometimes, the amount of the things that we are willing to sacrifice will gauge how much we want something; it tells how much things we are willing to give up just for that one thing.

When we desire and put our mind into one thing, we automatically get a glimpse of our future and how we want it to look like.

This is the part where we set our vision.

Our vision/s in life set our paths, where we want to go, how long we will work for to get our desires.

Our vision gives us a sense of what we want, and how much we can actually prioritize it. It gives us a sense of time and pace as to how, where and when we can actually achieve our dreams.

What does our vision do to us?

We envision as to give us a sense of purpose, by which gives us clarity in life, by which makes us appreciate our lives more.

<ul><li>sensibility & clarity</li><li>life purpose</li><li>everyday motivation</li><li>thirst and hunger for success</li></ul>

What the vision does to the visionary: 

technologyandthefuture

Technology & The Future

Life Purpose

Don’t be intimidated by other people’s opinions. Take risks and do what you really want to do

Never apologize for being sensitive or emotional.Let this be a sign that you have that you’ve got a big heart and ain’t afraid to let others see it. Showing your emotions is a sign of strength.

Sometimes, just spending some quality time with good friends is the only therapy you need.

Surround yourself with the people who make you happy, make you laugh, and genuinely care.Everyone else is just passing through.

Avoiding certain people to protect your emotional health is not a weakness. It’s Wisdom.

You’re never too old to set another goal or to dream a new dream.

three things in human life are important. the first to be kind.the second to be kind and the third to be kind.

Stop beating yourself up. You are working in progress; which means you get there a little at a time, not all at once

Whatever’s worrying you right now, forget about it. Just take deep breaths, and know that things will get better

Have fun, especially while you’re still young, you got to keep the spark up, even when things get boring, just remember to have fun.

We were given: two hands to hold. two legs to walk.two eyes to see. two ears to listen. but why only one heart?‘coz the other one was given to someone else. for us to find.

repeat after me,I work hard, and I do good, and I’m going to enjoy myself. I’m not going to let you restrict me.

Never take a day for granted, smile, cherish the little things and remember to hug the ones you love.

They relax us from wrong concepts which are deeply rooted in us making harder to take important decisions in life.

couselling wrong concepts

<ul><li class="ql-align-justify">Suffering from stress, worry and anxiety, can trigger depression</li><li class="ql-align-justify">With practice, you can manage and control the symptoms of depression</li><li class="ql-align-justify">Exercise puts the brakes on or reverses the depression cycle</li><li class="ql-align-justify">Reduce worrying by activating your thinking brain to make plans to address the concerns</li><li class="ql-align-justify">Get sufficient, high-quality sleep</li><li class="ql-align-justify">Changing bad habits</li><li class="ql-align-justify">Fight depression with yoga techniques.</li><li class="ql-align-justify">Express gratitude often, no matter how dire your circumstances were</li><li class="ql-align-justify">Don’t isolate yourself</li><li class="ql-align-justify">Sometimes you can benefit from the help of a professional or the aid of prescription</li></ul>

The Upward Spiral

Using Neuroscience to Reverse the Course of Depression, One Small Change at a Time.

Depression can feel like a downward spiral, pulling you into a vortex of sadness, fatigue, and apathy. In The Upward Spiral, neuroscientist Alex Korb demystifies the intricate brain processes that cause depression and offers a practical and effective approach to getting better. Based on the latest research in neuroscience, this book provides dozens of straightforward tips you can do every day to rewire your brain and create an upward spiral towards a happier, healthier life. Whether you suffer from depression or just want a better understanding of the brain, this book offers an engaging and informative look at the neuroscience behind our emotions, thoughts, and actions. The truth is that there isn’t one big solution to depression, but there are numerous simple steps you can take to alter brain activity and chemistry. Some are as easy as relaxing certain muscles to reduce anxiety, or getting more sunlight to improve your mood. Small steps in the right direction can have profound effects—giving you the power to become your best self as you literally reshape your brain, one small change at a time.

habits

Habits

exerciseandfitness

Exercise & Fitness

Depression can feel like a downward spiral, pulling you into a vortex of sadness, fatigue, and apathy. In The Upward Spiral, neuroscientist Alex Korb demystifies the intricate brain processes that cause depression and offers a practical and effective approach to getting better. Based on the latest research in neuroscience, this book provides dozens of straightforward tips you can do every day to rewire your brain and create an upward spiral towards a happier, healthier life. Whether you suffer from depression or just want a better understanding of the brain, this book offers an engaging and informative look at the neuroscience behind our emotions, thoughts, and actions. The truth is that there isn’t one big solution to depression, but there are numerous simple steps you can take to alter brain activity and chemistry. Some are as easy as relaxing certain muscles to reduce anxiety, or getting more sunlight to improve your mood. Small steps in the right direction can have profound effects—giving you the power to become your best self as you literally reshape your brain, one small change at a time.

Alex Korb

How many times has someone told you that someone said something about something you’ve said or done. It doesn’t feel nice right? F*ck them and their opinion.
<ul>
<li>How does if affect your life right? The only way it affects your life is by you worrying about it. Again, an opinion is not a ‘real thing’, it is a perspective from someone who has a different life to yours.</li>
</ul>

Their Opinion Is Only That — An Opinion

Being true to yourself means understanding why you care so much about what other people think, and then, doing what you want to do anyway!

Be True To Yourself

You have to gain a certain amount of respect for your own opinion and actions. If you’re pondering about doing something because you’re worried what someone would say, carefully evaluate the situation, and if it makes sense to you to do it, then just do it. See what happens.

Start Respecting Your Own Opinion

So even though people jump to the chance to give their opinion on you and what you do, deep down, they couldn’t care less. Why? because they’re too busy worrying about what other people think of them too! Their opinion on you is forgotten tomorrow.

Surprise: No One Actually Cares!

Wouldn’t you rather live the life you want, being content within yourself? Trying to keep an image up is exhausting and pointless. You just need to get started on what you want out of life.

Just Get Started On Yourself

The only way to counter that is to educate yourself. Maybe you’re overly conscious of yourself and what you have to offer others. Whilst it shouldn’t matter what you can offer them, educating yourself can help you gain more confidence.

Educate Yourself

Do you really care what other people think of you? How much time do you spend worrying about what others think about you and what you do? If you really give a damn, it could be your biggest source of anxiety and stress. 

Do you really care what other people think of you? How much time do you spend worrying about what others think about you and what you do? If you really give a damn, it could be your biggest source of…

health

Health

How To Stop Caring What Other People Think of You

Manage how you live with these five tips to feel less stressed:

5 Tips To Manage Stress

<a href="https://www.mayoclinichealthsystem.org/hometown-health/speaking-of-health/overwhelmed-by-anxiety">Guided meditation </a>is a great way to distract yourself from the stress of day-to-day life. There are many guided meditations available on the internet that can help you find 5 minutes of centered relaxation.

Guided Meditation 

<a href="https://www.mayoclinichealthsystem.org/hometown-health/speaking-of-health/mindfulness-meditation-improve-your-quality-of-life">Deep breathing </a>is a great way to reduce the activation of your sympathetic nervous system, which controls the body’s response to a perceived threat. Deep breaths taken in to a count of five seconds, held for two seconds and released to a count of five seconds, can help activate your parasympathetic nervous system, which helps reduce the overall stress and anxiety you may be experiencing.

Practice Deep Breathing 

<a href="https://www.mayoclinichealthsystem.org/hometown-health/speaking-of-health/establishing-healthy-behaviors-that-stick">Physical exercise and nutrition </a>are two important components in how you respond to stress. When your body is healthy, your mind can be healthy and vice versa. Physical exercise is proven to be a great stress reliever and also helps to improve your overall quality of life. Nutrition is important as stress can deplete certain vitamins, such as A, B complex, C and E. Maintaining proper nutrition not only helps your body feel better, but your mind as well, which allows you to better combat stress.

Maintain Good Health

Spending time on social media sites can become stressful, not only by what we might see on them, but also because the time you are spending on social media might be best spent enjoying visiting with friends, being outside enjoying the weather or reading a great book.

Manage Social Media Time

Humans are social beings. You need to have <a href="https://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/stress-management/in-depth/social-support/art-20044445">connections with people </a>to feel supported. Finding a sense of community — whether at work, with a religious organization, or through shared activities, such as organized sports — is important to your well-being. Enjoying a shared activity allows you to find support and foster relationships that can be supportive in difficult times.

Connect With Others

Your life can feel overwhelming and stressful at times, but you can manage stress by incorporating these five tips into your lifestyle.

mindfulness

Mindfulness

entertainment

Entertainment

5 tips to manage stress

Usually in school, combined with instructions from our parents, we cobble together an understanding that allows us to move forward through the school years until we matriculate into a job. Then because most initial learning comes from doing, less from books, we switch to an on-the-fly approach.A failure As we layer our social values on top and end up with a hot mess of guilt and fear that stymies the learning process.Learning is necessary for our success and personal growth. we can’t maximize the time we spend learning because our feelings about what we ‘should’ be doing get in the way.

2 How do we learn how to learn in the traditional way?

means retaining information, processing it, being able to use it when needed. More knowledge means better instincts; better insights into opportunities for both you and your organization. You will ultimately produce better work if you give yourself the space to learn. Yet often organizations get in the way of learning

1 The benefit of "learning better"

To many, working means sitting at your desk for eight hours a day. Being physically present, mental engagement is optional. It means pushing out emails and rushing to meetings and generally getting nothing done. We’ve looked at the focus aspect of this before. But what about the learning aspect?

4 What does this have to do with learning?

and embrace what seems counter-intuitive?Thinking and talking are useful elements of learning. And what we learn in our ‘play’ time can be valuable to our ‘work’ time, and there’s nothing wrong with moving between the two (or combining them) during our day.When mastering a subject, our brains actually use different types of processing. Barbara Oakley explains in A Mind for Numbers: How to Excel at Math and Science (even if you flunked algebra) that our brain has two general modes of thinking – ‘focused’ and ‘diffuse’ – and both of these are valuable and required in the learning process.

5 Can we change how we approach learning, letting go of the guilt associated with not being visibly active,

is what we traditionally associate with learning. Read, dive deep, absorb. Eliminate distractions and get into the material.  “the focused mode involves a direct approach to solving problems using rational, sequential, analytical approaches. … Turn your attention to something and bam – the focused mode is on, like the tight, penetrating beam of a flashlight.” is not the only one required for learning because we need time to process what we pick up, to get this new information integrated into our existing knowledge. We need time to make new connections. This is where the diffuse mode comes in.

6 The focused mode

is what happens when you relax your attention and just let your mind wander. This relaxation can allow different areas of the brain to hook up and return valuable insights. … Diffuse-mode insights often flow from preliminary thinking that’s been done in the focused mode.Relying solely on the focused mode to learn is a path to burnout. We need the diffuse mode to cement our ideas, put knowledge into memory and free up space for the next round of focused thinking. We need the diffuse mode to <a href="https://www.farnamstreetblog.com/2017/01/krista-tippett-becoming-wise/">build wisdom</a>. So why does diffuse mode thinking at work generally involve feelings of guilt?

7 Diffuse-mode thinking

We are trained by our modern world to organize our day into mutually exclusive chunks called ‘work’, ‘play’, and ‘sleep’. One is done at the office, the other two are not. We are not allowed to move fluidly between these chunks, or combine them in our 24 hour day. Most of us don’t nap at the office in the afternoon, likely because we have to worry about what our boss was going to think. And now in the open office debacle we can’t even have a quiet 10 minutes of rest in our cubicles. We have become trained to equate working with doing. Thus the ‘doing’ has value. We deserve to get paid for this

3 what we ‘should’ be doing

go to the gym, walk, play a sport, go for a drive, draw, take a bath, listen to music (especially without words), meditate, sleep. Um, aren’t these all things to do in my ‘play’ time? And sleep? It’s a whole time chunk on its own.Most organizations do not promote a culture that allow these activities to be integrated into the work day. Go to the gym on your lunch. Sleep at home. Meditate on a break. Essentially do these things while we are not paying you.

 8 ‘diffuse-mode activators’

If something doesn’t directly contribute, it’s not valuable. If it’s not valuable I need to do it in my non-work time or not at all.  our leaders would rather see us do less than trust in the potential payoff of pursuits that aren’t as visible or ones that don’t pay off as quickly. The ability to see something is often a large component of trust. So if we are doing any of these ‘play’ activities at work, which are invisible in terms of their contribution to the learning process, we feel guilty because we don’t believe we are doing what we get paid to do.

9 We ingest this way of thinking, associating the value of getting paid with the value of executing our task list.

Guilt is insidious. Not only do we usually feel guilt, but then we feel guilty about feeling guilty.How? Be kind to yourself.we are greatly impacted by our compassion to ourselves.In order to manage and overcome emotions like guilt that can prevent us from learning and achieving, we need to treat ourselves the same way we would <a href="https://www.farnamstreetblog.com/2016/03/journey-of-self-discovery/">the person we love most in the world</a>. “We can direct our attention to inner images that evoke feelings of kindness, understanding, and support,” writes Tirch.

10 How do you let go of the guilt?

is based on research showing that some of the ways in which we instinctively regulate our response to threats have evolved from the attachment system that operates between infant and mother and from other basic relationships between mutually supportive people. We have specific systems in our brains that are sensitive to the kindness of others, and the experience of this kindness has a major impact on the way we process these threats and the way we process anxiety in particular. “a sensitivity to the suffering of others, with a commitment to do something about it,”

11 the compassion focused model

So the next time you look up from that proposal on the new infrastructure schematics and see that the sun is shining, go for a walk, notice where you are, and give your mind a chance to go into diffuse-mode and process what you’ve been focusing on all morning. And give yourself a hug for doing it.

12 summary

Most organizations promote a culture that runs counter to learning and playing, encouraging visible short-term actions that inspire guilt in employees who want to learn.

timemanagement

Time Management

Let Go of the Learning Baggage - Farnam Street

I used to complain a lot - it could be about the weather, the traffic, the people on the train and even the coffee from my favorite café. When I think back now, my mind was full of thoughts like: Complaint, complaint and complaint. All these complaints and negative thoughts didn’t only create a very bad start of my day - it actually made my whole day a living hell.

Complaining doesn't do any good

“The train is late again.” “It’s going to rain again today.” “As expected, the bus is jam-packed!” “Damn it, the coffee is way too hot!”

Examples of Complaining 

Complaint, complaint and complaint. All these complaints and negative thoughts didn’t only create a very bad start of my day - it actually made my whole day a living hell.

Too many complaints 

The point here is- sometimes we focus too much on the negative side of things without knowing that every single negative event in your life actually comes with something positive. It’s like a package or buy 1 get 1 free. By changing your way to see things, you will suddenly notice life is full of beauty and opportunities. Next time when your train is delayed, don’t get stressed or frustrated, try to see it from another perspective- the train is late -so what? You will have more time to listen to your favorite podcast or read the book you never have the time to read. The train will come relax!

Problem in complaining 

The best way to stop the chain reaction of the negativity is to immediately tell yourself to stop and start thinking about the positive side of the seemingly negative event. In the above example, what I could have done is thinking about the good of Stockholm. The underground is less crowded, the city is less noisy and it has really fresh air - thanks to the trees!

Solution 

“change the way you look at things and the things you look at change”

These ideas can be life changing for a person as it doesn't give you a productivity hack or technique to stop procrastination . It give you the idea to see life with a different perspective 

motivationandinspiration

Motivation & Inspiration

problemsolving

Problem Solving

Complaining doesn't do any good — LifeClub

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