Have you ever wondered why we often behave so irrationally?Psychologists do too, which results in countless researches about human nature. Although there is still a lot of unanswered questions, and there is a long way to go until we find the definitive answer for example to why we fall in love with a specific person, thanks to them we now know a lot more about how we feel, think and behave.Here we have collected 50 proven psychology facts, that explain a lot about human nature and will completely change how you see the world.

Background

Although these facts are interesting, fun, and tell us a lot about human nature, never forget that most of them were described after conducting research with small numbers of specific populations. But it is a fact that they provide a wonderful way to raise questions, and to start digging into the wonderful and weird world of psychological research and in the end completely change how you see the world.

Disclaimer

There is a reason why psychologists ask you about your mother. One of the most robust <a href="https://d1wqtxts1xzle7.cloudfront.net/41507315/Ravitz_et_al__Attachment_measures__a_25year_review_2010.pdf?1453639315=&response-content-disposition=inline%253B+filename%253DAdult_attachment_measures_A_25_year_revi.pdf&Expires=1607516146&Signature=cd4m-vMRms83XTNGgbzEaF6b3P86p69YpFqLgB0jKLu97laBbGu3EJzfybcmMTWfwEAEYR6UKO9t0ZyuZeDOCLyPtOO8wQDoFbMLemDWKZLh1inXdYGf6TJgciSciGH-VNvzPxKGjeIPcTLRg2eJqhtCFUFk4lfcoMZoKS8yAFTaHJ~jkA0VZC6vn2TMqJgU6-~uhLi5AmmISmpBkSwVvMjjLBoAeyMiRow4xCtnGAugUZx53aOxpsUrU0WzzIrSbUp0VQGt5m0TDNfZPP-Z8LGN8qq8VvKpPcewsndHQ6SKz-3R-txPqZ6GCmu0a5gUYAWF8sgrduW6MbhtXSuyuQ__&Key-Pair-Id=APKAJLOHF5GGSLRBV4ZA">findings of psychology shows us</a>, that no matter where we are born, the past relationship we had with our primary caregiver, massively affects our adult intimate relationships, the way we handle stressful challenges, or our behaviour towards our health.

1. Our early relationship with our mother has life-lasting consequences

We all want to be happy, but if you want to be healthy, you should rather search for meaning, says a <a href="https://www.pnas.org/content/early/2013/07/25/1305419110.short">study led by Barbara Fredrickson</a>. They have studied the genes of people who are engaging in a lot of activities which makes them feeling good, but lack true meaning (like going out extensively) and the results were shocking: they had the same gene expression patterns as people exposed to chronic adversity. The group suggests stop running after momentary joys and start looking for activities with meaning.

2. A feel-good life is not necessarily a healthy one

Contrary to popular belief, stress is not always a bad thing, actually it can be good for you. <a href="https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2019/08/190810151933.htm">Psychologists have long observed</a>, that stress help you accomplish task more efficiently, and can motivate you to reach your goals. However, it is important to have good ways to respond to it, and to have possibility to recover from it–without them, it becomes unhealthy, making our life miserable.

3. Stress can be good for us

You would not think so, but you might make different decisions when you are speaking in your second language. According to <a href="https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/abs/10.1177/0956797611432178">a study conducted at the University of Chicago</a>, students using a foreign language made less emotional and more rational decisions. This suggest we might process information differently when speaking another language.

4. Speaking in a foreign language changes your decisions

No matter where you are in the world, people will recognise if you make a sad, happy, disgusted, fearful, surprised or angry face. Due to this, these emotions are called <a href="https://www.paulekman.com/universal-emotions/">universal emotions</a>, and they are known across cultures and at a very young age.

5. Some emotions are universal

Maslow’s hierarchy is probably wrong. His hierarchy of human needs says that at base levels we are driven by basic physiological instincts to survive and only after fulfilling these needs can we move over to other needs, like social connections and self-actualization. But <a href="http://www.jlampl.net/SocialNetworksMaslow.pdf">current research says </a>otherwise, as it shows hat our most fundamental need is belonging and our connection to other humans. This is what makes us engage in activities leading to self-preservation or self-fulfillment.

6. Social connections might be more important to us than food

A few of us can see the shape of emotions, smell colours, or hear shapes. This <a href="https://www.healthline.com/health/synesthesia">interesting neuropsychological phenomenon </a>is called synaesthesia and happens when our mind involuntarily blends sensations that normally are experienced separately. The people, who experience it, tend to be born with this skill.

7. Some of us can smell colours

Have you ever noticed how your mum likes to speak a lot about the things that happened to her during her early twenties? Or ever wondered why people love coming of age teenager stories? Our preference for recollecting memories from adolescent and early adulthood is called “<a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Reminiscence_bump">reminiscence bump </a>”, and it might be because of the many changes we experience during that time, and our mind tend to remember changes more than a bit more monotonous periods.

8. Things that happen to us in early adulthood are with us long term

According to the facial feedback theory, our facial expressions influence how we feel. So <a href="https://health.ucsd.edu/news/releases/Pages/2020-07-30-headline-news-botox-may-lessen-depression.aspx">scientists </a>have temporarily disabled the muscles needed of sad facial expressions with Botox injections. This made people lose their negative emotional experience, and they have reported decreased symptoms of depression.

9.Botox could treat depression

Do you want to perform better at learning something? It might be time to open your classical music folder, as listening to classical music was found to enhance even older people’s memory performance. The finding is so robust that it has its own name: the “<a href="https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/BF03324720">Vivaldi effect </a>”.

10. Listening to classical music is good for your memory

According to <a href="https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/10.1177/0146167299259007">Tara Macdonald and Michael Ross</a>, if you are in love and you would like to know whether it will last, you should just ask your mom. They reported that dating couples tend to predict the longevity of their relationships through rose-coloured glasses, so asking their friends and family served as much better predictors of whether their romances would survive.

11. Our friends know the future of our romantic relationship better than us

Babies are born with the ability to understand all accents of the world, but from the age of 5 months they start to <a href="https://www.nationalgeographic.com/science/phenomena/2009/06/14/five-month-old-babies-prefer-their-own-languages-and-shun-foreign-accents/">prefer and listen to their mother’s accent </a>and avoid connection with people with other accents.

12. We prefer our own accents as soon as 5 months old

Although many times dyslexia is seen only as a problem, it can be a sign of a uniquely functioning brain with many strengths. For example, watching the same videos, children diagnosed with dyslexia were <a href="https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2020/12/201201103605.htm">observed </a>to give more emotional responses than children without it, suggesting an atypical, enhanced way of noticing and processing emotional cues.

13. Kids with dyslexia are more emotionally responsive

If you want to give the perfect present, remember that <a href="https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1080/17439760.2014.898316?journalCode=rpos20">psychological research suggests</a> that purchasing experiences has a more lasting positive effect on people’s happiness than material objects and looking back, people will also believe to have spent their money more wisely.

14. Experiences make us happier than material gifts

Call your grandma! Being socially isolated and feeling lonely have seriously dire consequences on us: <a href="https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0033350617302731">they make us more prone to </a>poor mental health and can lead to serious, undesirable cardiovascular outcomes.

15. Isolation can hurt us physically

Researching who takes part in elections and other political activities, <a href="https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2020/09/200925134722.htm">scientists </a>have come to a surprising result: more narcissistic people can be more involved in such activities, may it be signing petitions, donating money or contacting politicians. Add to those result that narcissistic people also prefer their own personal gain to the societal needs and we might see the root of some our current problems.

16. Narcissistic people tend to be more politically involved

After researching the brain of older women with Alzheimer, <a href="https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2020/11/201118161133.htm">researchers have found </a>those women’s brain showing smaller brain volume, who were living in areas exposed to higher levels of air pollution compared to those who did not. This suggests that foul air could damage our brain, altering its structure negatively.

17. Air pollution hurts not only our lungs, but our brains too

According to a <a href="https://jamanetwork.com/journals/jamapsychiatry/article-abstract/2608757">study </a>, collecting data from 147 261 adults aged 18 to 99 years, anxiety is more prevalent in high-income countries than in countries with poorer socioeconomic environment. The study further suggests that poorer people living in Western countries are the most anxious population in the world.

18. Westerners are more anxious

In a paper published in the American Academy of Sleep Medicine, researchers claim that atheists and agnostics are significantly more likely to be better sleepers than Catholics and Baptists.

19. Atheists sleep better than Catholics

And so is sadness. The basis of this phenomenon might be our natural tendency to mimic the behaviours and facial expressions of others. <a href="https://medium.com/better-marketing/your-good-and-bad-moods-are-contagious-psychologists-call-it-emotional-contagion-c7d857c7cabc">Scientists say </a>this emotional synchrony happens unconsciously but the extent of it depends on the intimacy we share with the other person.

20. Happiness is contagious

People usually think that high self-confidence is the key to achieve success, but <a href="https://www.businessinsider.com/people-with-low-self-confidence-are-more-likely-to-be-successful-2012-7">according to business psychologists Tomas Chamorro-Premuzic</a>, it is not exactly true, as he says “low-enough” self-confidence makes you more open to feedback and behaviour changes which result in better workplace results.

21. People with lower self-confidence are more likely to be successful

Do you want to remember something? Give yourself a good night’s sleep: <a href="https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2005/06/050629070337.htm">according to a study</a>, fresh memories stick better if we have a well-deserved rest after studying them.

22. Proper sleeping hours improve our memory significantly

Although life is getting more digital, psychologists argue for keeping handwriting part of our curriculum. <a href="https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2020/10/201001113540.htm">It seems </a>that kids writing by hand learn more and remember better than the ones using a keyboard. It might be due to the fact that handwriting activates more senses, which helps to create connections between different parts of the brain.

23. Writing by hand makes kids smarter

Our culture tends to see mind-wandering as bad, but actually, <a href="https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2017/10/171024112803.htm">according to psychologist </a>it can be just a symptom of being intelligent and more creative.

24. Daydreamers are more creative

First impressions are more important than you think. <a href="https://www.verywellmind.com/understanding-the-primacy-effect-4685243">Scientists observed </a>the this at many parts of our life, especially when convincing others, so you should not be afraid to speak up first. People tend to remember the first argument for a longer time and they also influence our opinion stronger.

25. What we say first is what sticks with others

In a <a href="https://www.verywellmind.com/what-is-short-term-memory-2795348">classic cognitive psychology study </a>participants, who had to remember 3 letter strings, could recall 80% of them after 3 seconds but, after 18 seconds they could only remember 10%. This effect has been reliably replicated since that, suggesting that you might have already forgotten some of the facts you have read above.

26. Our short-term memory lasts less than half a minute

In a brain-imaging study, <a href="https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5663956/">scientists have found </a>that listening to sad but not happy music increased the strength of mind-wandering. It has also caused people to focus inwards and think about themselves, while people listening to happy music thought more about the music itself and other people.

27. Sad music makes our mind wander

There is a reliably observed effect, named after its original observer as the <a href="https://www.spring.org.uk/2012/06/the-dunning-kruger-effect-why-the-incompetent-dont-know-theyre-incompetent.php">Dunning–Kruger effect</a>, which describes the cognitive bias that individuals with low ability at a task are the most likely to overestimate their performance. These people simply fail to recognize their lack of ability making them incapable to objectively evaluate their own competence.

28. People who are the most incompetent are the least aware of their own incompetence

When reviewing the effects of regular volunteering, <a href="https://www.ucl.ac.uk/students/news/2020/apr/10-benefits-helping-others">psychologists have found </a>that it might reduce early mortality rates by 22%, compared to those in people’s who don’t take part in such activities. Regular helpers also reported reduced depression symptoms and increased sense of life satisfaction and wellbeing.

29. Regularly helping others might make us live longer

The personality of owners of stereotypically aggressive breeds, like Rottweiler or German Shepherd, <a href="https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-mindful-self-express/201208/3-surprising-true-facts-about-pets-and-their-owners">was compared </a>to the owners of stereotypically peaceful breeds, like Labs and Golden Retriever. The result? They were found to be higher in anger, aggression, and hostility traits.

30. More hostile people own more aggressive dog breeds

A research <a href="https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2020/11/201112103517.htm">published in the Journal of Alzheimer’s Research and Therapy </a>has found that when patients with mild cognitive impairment started practicing physical exercise at least three times a week, their risk of getting Alzheimer’s has significantly decreased. Time to dust off our running shoes.

31. Weekly exercise can prevent downgrade to Alzheimer’s

Although alcohol abuse is always bad for your brain health, there <a href="https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2020/12/201203200605.htm">seem to be 3 specially sensitive periods </a>, when severe alcohol consumption results in cumulative long-lasting detrimental effects on your brain: gestation (from conception to birth), later adolescence (15-19 years), and older adulthood (over 65 years).

32. There are special periods when alcohol is terrible for us

Have you ever felt punched in the stomach after somebody rejected you? It is no wonder that rejection hurts so much. <a href="https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/22286852/">According to neuroimaging studies </a>the same brain areas are activated during socially and physically painful experiences, resulting in very similarly hurting experiences.

33. Rejection literally hurts you

Infants’ brains may be shaped by their mother’s experiences during pregnancy. <a href="https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2020/11/201124111105.htm">A new study </a>combining neuroimaging with hormonal samples, found babies of women who were experiencing stress to have different brain structures compared to healthy ones, especially in regions important in emotional answers, making them more likely to have emotional issues in later life.

34. Stress during pregnancy changes our brains

Do you want to convince somebody to stop doing something annoying, like littering? <a href="https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/10.1111/1467-8721.01242">Psychologists advise </a>you rather focus on the positive outcome with your message, say for example: “Almost everybody who lives here, place their trash in the garbage”. This way the appropriate behaviour is presented as the social norm and people are unconsciously inclined to follow it.

35. We don’t change our behaviour by hearing it is bad

It has been shown in <a href="https://www.researchgate.net/publication/10579289_Culture_and_point_of_view">multiple studies</a>, that when seen a scene, most Americans focus on the visually most prominent acting object but most east-Asians focus on the background and the context. This suggests, that from the beginning of perception those of us from east-Asian cultures see people and objects more in relationship to their environment.

36. People from different cultures process information differently

Fathers behave differently with daughters and sons: they are more attentive and responsive to their daughters’ needs, sing more often to them, and speak more openly about their emotions towards them. The study published in 'Behavioural Neuroscience' explored the neural background for this behaviour: showing fathers their daughters’ happy facial expressions resulted in higher activation in brain areas involved in reward, emotional regulation, and face processing.

37. Fathers’ brains respond differently to daughters and sons

According to <a href="https://www.wired.co.uk/article/dan-ariely-bonuses-boost-activity-but-not-quality">a study conducted in India and in the United States</a>, big bonuses only raised the performance of the workers in certain cases: if they did mechanical work. But in case of work requiring use of cognitive skills, big rewards were actually detrimental on performance.

38. Bonuses don’t always work

<a href="https://personal.lse.ac.uk/KANAZAWA/pdfs/PAID2009.pdf">A study has found </a>those people, who sleep and wake up late, to be more intelligent. It might be because of their tendency to diverge from normally practised activities, in this case, the usual social functioning of being active during the day.

39. Night owls are more intelligent

We value things more if we were involved in their creation and people also see their creations- even if they are very amateurish- as similar in value to experts’ creations. Researchers calls this phenomenon <a href="https://www.behavioraleconomics.com/resources/mini-encyclopedia-of-be/ikea-effect/">the IKEA effect</a>.

40. We value things that were made by us disproportionately

A <a href="https://www.cmu.edu/dietrich/sds/docs/loewenstein/MispredictingDistress.pdf">research group has studied couples </a>and asked them to predict their emotional state after their possible future breakup. What was the result after visiting them again if the breakup indeed happened? Most of the participants hugely overestimated the distress levels they would feel, and in real life they were a lot less disturbed.

41. We are bad at forecasting our emotional reactions

<a href="https://www0.gsb.columbia.edu/mygsb/faculty/research/pubfiles/2413/Hotornot%25202008.pdf">An analysis of a dating website </a>has found that people prefer to date others with similar levels of attractiveness. This effect is more prevalent in women. Compared to them, men seem to consider their other characteristics more strongly when choosing a potential date.

42. Who we find hot depends on our own attractiveness

<a href="https://www.researchgate.net/publication/11086437_Effects_of_social_exclusion_on_cognitive_processes_Anticipated_aloneness_reduces_intelligent_thought">Participants of a research </a>who were led to think that they would be alone later in life, were less likely to function logically after receiving this information. The other participants, who received bad forecasts of non-social misfortunes, have not shown cognitive decrease, emphasizing the role of social belonging in conscious thinking.

43. Thinking that you will end up alone can cause a drop in intelligent thought

At a study of an older community, <a href="https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2018/05/180509162704.htm">researchers have found </a>that following depression, people had their brains in worse shape. The brain had literally shrunk in its volume! Depressed elderly have exhibited greater memory problems than their peers.

44. Being depressed may age your brain

People find face and body symmetry attractive, but do not worry if your face is not completely symmetrical. It <a href="https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S1090513805000401">has been proven </a>that by adding symmetrical jewellery or face paint to asymmetrical faces, people also ended up preferring them.

45. We find symmetry attractive

<a href="https://www.healthline.com/health/alien-hand-syndrome#fast-facts">The Alien Hand syndrome </a>most usually occurs after somebody suffers from stroke or other brain injury. The report feeling as if their hand is controlled by someone else. It can behave completely out of their own will. It was even reported in some case to trying to harm the owner of the hand.

46. Some people’s limbs have their own mind

Funny people, and especially those who enjoy dark humour, <a href="https://theconversation.com/funny-people-are-more-intelligent-than-their-po-faced-peers-84709">were found to </a>be more intelligent than their less funny peers. Both their verbal and non-verbal intelligence was higher, moreover they were less aggressive than people who did not appreciate dark humour.

47. People who appreciate dark humour have Higher IQs

<a href="https://psycnet.apa.org/record/2003-02858-014">Students finish on average, 3 weeks later </a>, that their “most realistic” estimate, and one week later than their “worst case-scenario”. This overly optimistic mode of planning is called as planning fallacy by psychologists.

48. We almost always underestimate how long it will take to finish a task

Although, it is statistically impossible to be so, when asked, <a href="https://www.psychologicalscience.org/news/motr/when-it-comes-to-driving-most-people-think-their-skills-are-above-average.html">most people will answer </a>that they are better-than-average drivers. If they are told that others disagree with them, they will simply argue that other’s good driving category is not as accurate as theirs.

49. We all think we are better-than-average drivers

Neuropsychologists have discovered that the expression, “I know what you feel” is literally true for some of us. These people, when they see others being touched, or hurt, experience the same touch or feel like they were hurt. Not the best company for your next horror movie, are they?

50. One in a hundred people literally feels other’s pain

Some facts here have completely opened my eyes to our behaviour traits. It's also cool knowing also how these facts are all derived from studies with real participants, and are not just educated theories.

50 Proven Psychology Facts — 1# Our early relationship with our mother has life-lasting consequences. 2# Botox could treat depression.

Understand yourself and those around you.

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Psychology

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Mental Health

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Science & Nature

50 Psychology Facts That Will Change How You See The World

We develop a more realistic view of where we are in the grand scheme of things during our life. We go from “the way to make progress is to keep going when you start to feel tired!" to I am okay with how I am.

Wisdom is quiet and knows that life is complicated

Growing mature follows a pretty standard path: in short, we develop a more realistic view of where we are in the grand scheme of things. When we’re babies, everything is black and white; we’re the center of the worldOver time, we acknowledge other people, with their own perspectives:Later, our identity gets wrapped up in the group — we want nothing more than to belong because our group is the best in the world:The next step: we feel comfortable being ourselves.

The Path Of Psychological Maturity

Wisdom is growing out of the bubble that insists we have access to The One True Worldview. If we have an answer, a data point, we acknowledge that it’s just a momentary snapshot of precision, rather than an all-encompassing truth about the universe. When we can accept that all existence is temporary and all lives have innate value, we are freed of the need to feel special or accomplished. We understand that we’re just a drop in the ocean.

Growing Wisdom

A few years ago when I was a full-blown gym rat, I was horribly obnoxious. (I still am, but for other reasons.) I used to try to encourage people during classes by reminding them “the way to make…

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Personal Development

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Communication

Don’t Listen to Anyone Who Claims to Have the One Neat Trick

Research has shown that the act of ignoring or excluding activates the same area of the brain that is activated by physical pain.The best predictor of divorce isn’t whether a couple fights – arguments are inevitable – but how a couple fights. The key to being closer in the good times lies in the way a couple treats each other during the bad.

Good Times + - Bad Times

The silent treatment can tend to present itself as a response more fitting of the ‘high road’, one of grace and dignity, but research has shown it is anything but.

Its Not What It Seems

‘Excluding and ignoring people, such as giving them the cold shoulder or silent treatment, are used to punish or manipulate, and people may not realise the emotional or physical harm that is being done.’

The silent treatment, even if it’s brief, activates the anterior cingulate cortex – the part of the brain that detects physical pain. The initial pain is the same, regardless of whether the exclusion is by strangers, close friends or enemies.

Does Rejection Hurt?

The ability to detect ostracism is hardwired in us – it doesn’t matter if you’re being ignored by a group or a person you can’t stand, the pain still registers.The silent treatment happens when one partner pressures the other with requests, criticism or complaints and the other responds with silence and emotional distance.

Iced Out

Paul Schrodt, PhD, Professor of Communication Studies reviewed 74 relationship studies which involved more than 14,000 participants.Findings from his in-depth analysis revealed that the silent treatment is ‘tremendously’ damaging to a relationship. It decreases relationship satisfaction for both partners, diminishes feelings of intimacy, and reduces the capacity to communicate in a way that’s healthy and meaningful.

The Loudness Of Silence

‘It’s the most common pattern of conflict in marriage or any committed, established romantic relationship. And it does tremendous damage.’

It doesn’t matter which partner demands or which one withdraws, the damage to the relationship is the same. It’s the pattern itself that’s the problem, not the specific partner. The silent treatment should not be confused with taking time to cool down after heated or difficult exchange. Williams suggests that instead of reverting to the silent treatment, try ‘I can’t talk to you right now, but we can talk about it later.’

Try This Instead

The silent treatment is a way to inflict pain without visible bruising – literally.

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Mindfulness

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Motivation & Inspiration

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Love & Relationships

The Surprising Truth About The Silent Treatment

Psychological manipulation thrives in intimacy. It’s a close, familiar way of using others that requires vulnerability to work well. Because intimate relationships all come with a level of vulnerability, they are the perfect breeding ground for this form of manipulation.Many psychological manipulators are family members, close friends, or romantic partners—these relationships give them an opportunity to build trust and later use that trust as a stepping stone to abuse.

1. Taking Advantage Of Intimate Relationships 

Psychological manipulators rarely, if ever, take responsibility for their actions to their victims—to do so would damage their credibility and cause doubt in the abusive relationship. Most manipulators will adopt a self-righteous attitude with their victims, often centered on how they have been “wronged” by that person in some way, and they will typically excuse their behaviors as retribution for how they have been treated. Their golden rule is simple: If you don’t give me what I want, I am entitled to treat you any way I choose.

2. Projecting Blame 

Psychological manipulators despise boundaries. Their ultimate goal is power and control, and firm boundaries interfere greatly with that goal. To that end, they become skilled at testing and violating others’ boundaries—usually starting with small limits and working their way up as they become more accomplished.Manipulators ensure that this is a slow-burn process. By subtly testing what works and what does not, they will learn how to cross others’ boundaries without being stopped.

3. Violating Boundaries

Psychological manipulators are masters at getting others to question their own reality. This often occurs in the form of telling blatant lies that border on unbelievable or countering a victim’s memory of events. When paired with the abuser’s refusal to accept responsibility for their actions, this technique can be destructive.Gaslighting can be difficult to pinpoint because it’s a gradual process that undermines the sanity of its victims. Many individuals who use this tactic work very hard to convince their victims they are too sensitive or are making a big deal out of nothing.

4. Gaslighting 


Recognize the methods that manipulators and narcissists use to gain control.

4 Common Tactics of Psychological Manipulators

Influence is one of those buzzwords that’s often associated with the top echelons of leadership or with a talent for sales or marketing.No matter what field you work in or how senior your job—entry level, middle management, director, C-suite—you rely on influence to do your job. Naturally if you’re a boss, you’re influencing staff to perform and behave in line with your vision and expectations. But if you’re an entry-level employee—you may not be aware of how much influence you use to teach your colleagues the best ways to communicate and collaborate with you.

You’ll Need to Use Influence in Any and Every Job You Have

Because telling is the quickest way to wield influence, it’s well suited for emergencies and regulations. It’s authority driven, or top-down, meaning it’s usually distributed from higher leadership down through lower positions (from CEO to staff, from manager to direct report, and so on).Telling may be expedient, but in cases other than those necessary regulations, it’s surprisingly ineffective, as most people do not like being told what to do.

Influence Type 1: Telling

At work, as in life, change—even if we say we want it— is difficult. Selling is a way to get buy-in and support for a new idea or culture shift. Whereas telling stops at a declaration of the what, selling digs into explaining the why (like why this strategy will work or how it’ll benefit everyone) in order to persuade others to get on board and, hopefully, excited. And it can occur from top-down, bottom-up, and laterally.

Influence Type 2: Selling

If you’re trying to make a big decision, you might reach out to a trusted friend for their perspective. But even though your friend may have fantastic advice, you’re ultimately in charge of whether or not to use it. Consulting at work uses the same principle: It’s a collaborative process based on conversation and co-creation, in which one party has the authority to make the final call.Consultation is a very effective type of influence because it creates a sense of partnership and teamwork, and because one person has the final say, it also doesn’t require everyone to hash things out randomly.

Influence Type 3: Consulting

When an old problem persists, a company is thrown a curveball and there’s no precedent for how to handle it, or a team is tackling something new or different, it’s a good time to collaborate. And workers at all levels can exercise their leadership by providing the structure to communally <a href="https://www.themuse.com/advice/problem-solving-skills-workplace-job-search">problem solve</a>.

Influence Type 4: Collaborating

It’s essential to pause and first identify the outcomes you’re looking for. Do you want to get buy-in for your idea? Get a boss to treat you differently? Implement a more effective way for your team to work together? Then, knowing your audience and using the guidelines above, select the right mode or combination to manifest the outcomes you’re looking for.

Use As Required

Because you’ll need ‘em, no matter what kind of job you have or how senior you are, according to a leadership consultant.

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Leadership & Management

4 Types of Influence and How to Use Them at Work

Although studies have found that both men and women with “attractive voices” are thought to be “warmer, more likable, honest, dominant, and <a href="https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/BF00996223">more likely to achieve</a>” — and they also have more sexual partners and may be more likely to <a href="https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S109051380400042X">engage in infidelity</a> — the qualities that make a voice attractive are slightly less clear.

A Great Voice In Men and Women

For men, an attractive voice is fairly straightforward: a lower one is good, as it indicates size, strength, and reproductive prowess (<a href="https://news.nationalgeographic.com/news/2012/01/120105-deep-voices-sperm-masculine-men-women-science-health-evolution/">or does it</a>?), while hints of <a href="https://www.smithsonianmag.com/science-nature/why-women-like-deep-voices-and-men-prefer-high-ones-41492244/">breathiness</a> also seem to be preferable. But for women, it seems to be more complicated. Higher voices signal reproductive fitness, femininity, and smaller body size, and while it stands to reason that women would try to accentuate these qualities by speaking in correspondingly high voices — and some studies confirm this — other studies find that women tend to speak in lower voices around men they’re trying to attract.

The Paradox Of The Voice

<ul><li>There “appears to be a common stereotype in our culture that deems a sexy female voice as one that sounds husky, breathy, and lower-pitched.</li><li>Voice manipulation may be a learned behavior based on sexual voice stereotypes rather than actual vocal characteristics of attractiveness. </li><li>Perhaps when a woman naturally lowers her voice, it may be perceived as her attempt to sound more seductive or attractive, and therefore serves as a signal of her romantic interest.</li></ul>

Why Women Lower Their Voice

Men preferred the women with the lower-pitched voices. The researchers don’t quite know why, although they speculate that it could be in response to a woman signalling sexual interest and intimacy to a man, via our society’s current socially accepted methods. Or it could be in response to a woman communicating social dominance or a confident and mature persona, as people with low-pitched voices are often attributed traits such as competence, trustworthiness and leadership.

What Men Want

What makes a voice attractive? Research over the years has shown that while women prefer men with lower voices, and men sometimes prefer women with higher voices, men also generally prefer women who speak with lower voices. Why? 

Is My Voice Attractive?

Pathological anxiety is defined by its intensity, disproportionality, and functional impact.When it comes to anxiety, doing what feels most self-protective often just reinforces our fears.Exposing ourselves to our fears and learning how to tolerate anxiety is the key to its extinction.

Key Ideas

Like many <a href="https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/psychiatry">psychiatric</a> symptoms, <a href="https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/anxiety">anxiety</a> can be conceptualized along a spectrum that ranges from the normal to the pathological. At the normal end, anxiety represents an adaptive human response that's part of the body's warning system that alerts us to dangers. It often manifests as transient <a href="https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/fear">fear</a>, causing us to step back from threats—like snakes and heights—that could cause us serious harm or death. And it can also take the form of more persistent worry about potential or ongoing threats, ideally providing the kind of <a href="https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/motivation">motivation</a> we need to take action.

To Be Or Not To Be

When anxiety becomes pathological, it's often because of its intensity, disproportionality, and functional impact. When anxiety and fear intensify to panic and when worries blossom into disproportional mental ruminations about imagined rather than actual threats, the result is that we often freeze up or get stuck in our heads to the point of immobility. And since normal anxiety is a necessity for survival, not having any anxiety would also put us in harm's way. Pathological anxiety prevents us from taking the necessary action to figure out how to deal with the issues that lie at its root.

Pathological Anxiety

Because excessive anxiety is so visceral, including not only mental panic but physical symptoms including a "nervous stomach," chest discomfort, or trouble breathing, it's often experienced as intolerable. As a result, our natural response isn't to problem-solve, but to avoid—we tend to be more focused on "flight" than "fight" and will often try to do whatever it takes to escape the source of our fear.

Wanting to Escape the Source of Our Fears

The paradox of anxiety is that what feels most instinctual and self-protective—escaping from the source of our fears or trying to ablate intolerable anxiety with a drink or a pill—often just reinforces it by teaching us that our fears are too powerful to face. It also primes us to monitor for its return when we are able to find temporary relief, but if we're constantly scanning <a href="https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/environment">the environment</a> for threats or our bodies for evidence of fear, we're certain to find it.

The Paradox Of Anxiety

Treating pathological anxiety often requires allowing ourselves to feel anxious. That doesn't mean "white-knuckling" it or subjecting ourselves to terror; it's more about engaging with and confronting our fears "one step at a time" in a safe and therapeutic setting with someone at your side. Through that process, we can do the work we need to do to shift from being immobilized by fear or from incessant worrying to problem-solving.

The Power of Exposure

The more we try to avoid our fears, the stronger they become.

The Anxiety Paradox

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50 Psychology Facts That Will Change How You See The World

Don’t Listen to Anyone Who Claims to Have the One Neat Trick

The Surprising Truth About The Silent Treatment

4 Common Tactics of Psychological Manipulators

4 Types of Influence and How to Use Them at Work

Is My Voice Attractive?

The Anxiety Paradox

What I’ve learned from 10 years of therapy - and why it’s time to stop

The Stinky Cheese Smell of Shame

How to Quickly Calm Down When You Get Triggered at Work

It's time to Read like a Pro.

It's time to
Read like a Pro.